April is one of the more fun months to be a sports fan, especially if your city is a four-sport city. (And it’s not like Detroit is my city, but the “D” in my DNA stands for “Detroit,” so intertwined is it to me.) So here come some absolutely half-assed and arbitrary opinions as to what our four sports should be doing this month:
Lions – Thankfully, the Jay Cutler trolley got off at Chicago instead of Detroit, because Detroit would have had to give up the farm to get him (only to have the shit sacked out of him by the fifth game). Since it looks like no one is interested in the albatross that is the first overall pick in the draft, the Lions will have to pull the trigger…on an offensive lineman. Now, the temptation will be to draft the big QB – and I’m not saying it wouldn’t work out, but see the above parenthetical – but you don’t hire a captain when the ship has gaping holes in the hull, so go safe, find a QB in the lower part of the draft (a proven mature winner like Pat White, perhaps?) and inch oh-so-slowly to some degree of respectability. Like three wins, maybe?
Pistons – I’m going long-view with this one when I say they should say “fuck the playoffs” and get into the lottery instead. (Of course, after tonight, it looks like they'll squeak by with the eighth spot.) Like almost no one else, I actually believed that Allen Iverson still had some skills left and would be able to sublimate his ego, and to the surprise of no one, I was wrong on both counts. And now he’s talking about retirement? I would release his ass immediately instead of putting him on the IR, let the young guards get more minutes (especially Aaron Afflalo, whom I still believe has solid potential), and target some young big men in the draft and through free agency. Their backcourt (1, 2, and 3) look set for half a decade, maybe more, but it’s the frontcourt (4 and 5) that is the weak link. If the cards fall the right way for the Pistons – and God knows they have before – they can position themselves for a nice ’09-’10 rebound.
Red Wings – I’m going short-view here and enjoying what will likely be the last championship season for a while, unless some heretofore unforeseen things materialize. They have some free agents up for contracts during the off-season, the goaltending is getting older, and while Hockeytown is willing, will the discontent of the working-class people of Detroit (many of whom are no longer working) rub off psychologically on the Wings? I hope not.
Tigers – They say that hope springs eternal, and every spring I have eternal hope that I might see the Tigers roar it up once again. And aside from ’06 and the first half of ‘07, when they took teams by surprise, it’s been some baffling underperformance for the better part of two decades. There are some things to like (the play of the Dominican contingent during the WBC, the addition-by-subtraction release of Gary Sheffield and Edger Renteria) and some things not to like (the instability of the pitching, including the continued ebb and flow of Justin Verlander’s performance). They look like they’re one veteran starter and veteran closer from being competitive in a tough division, but neither need was addressed, and so we roll the dice once again. My guess is that Jim Leyland says adios by the end of the season, if not sooner, and the Tigers finish in fourth.
Spartans – I’m not sure I can watch Monday night's game without my heart and guts exploding. Before Saturday, I thought that if they can neutralize Thabeet and Price – and for the most part they did – the Spartans could set up an interesting rematch with a UNC team that blew them out in the same building a few months ago. But a few months ago is an eternity, and Sparty is a different team (better) while UNC is essentially the same (cocky). Could it be a green and white Monday night in Detroit?
Lions – Thankfully, the Jay Cutler trolley got off at Chicago instead of Detroit, because Detroit would have had to give up the farm to get him (only to have the shit sacked out of him by the fifth game). Since it looks like no one is interested in the albatross that is the first overall pick in the draft, the Lions will have to pull the trigger…on an offensive lineman. Now, the temptation will be to draft the big QB – and I’m not saying it wouldn’t work out, but see the above parenthetical – but you don’t hire a captain when the ship has gaping holes in the hull, so go safe, find a QB in the lower part of the draft (a proven mature winner like Pat White, perhaps?) and inch oh-so-slowly to some degree of respectability. Like three wins, maybe?
Pistons – I’m going long-view with this one when I say they should say “fuck the playoffs” and get into the lottery instead. (Of course, after tonight, it looks like they'll squeak by with the eighth spot.) Like almost no one else, I actually believed that Allen Iverson still had some skills left and would be able to sublimate his ego, and to the surprise of no one, I was wrong on both counts. And now he’s talking about retirement? I would release his ass immediately instead of putting him on the IR, let the young guards get more minutes (especially Aaron Afflalo, whom I still believe has solid potential), and target some young big men in the draft and through free agency. Their backcourt (1, 2, and 3) look set for half a decade, maybe more, but it’s the frontcourt (4 and 5) that is the weak link. If the cards fall the right way for the Pistons – and God knows they have before – they can position themselves for a nice ’09-’10 rebound.
Red Wings – I’m going short-view here and enjoying what will likely be the last championship season for a while, unless some heretofore unforeseen things materialize. They have some free agents up for contracts during the off-season, the goaltending is getting older, and while Hockeytown is willing, will the discontent of the working-class people of Detroit (many of whom are no longer working) rub off psychologically on the Wings? I hope not.
Tigers – They say that hope springs eternal, and every spring I have eternal hope that I might see the Tigers roar it up once again. And aside from ’06 and the first half of ‘07, when they took teams by surprise, it’s been some baffling underperformance for the better part of two decades. There are some things to like (the play of the Dominican contingent during the WBC, the addition-by-subtraction release of Gary Sheffield and Edger Renteria) and some things not to like (the instability of the pitching, including the continued ebb and flow of Justin Verlander’s performance). They look like they’re one veteran starter and veteran closer from being competitive in a tough division, but neither need was addressed, and so we roll the dice once again. My guess is that Jim Leyland says adios by the end of the season, if not sooner, and the Tigers finish in fourth.
Spartans – I’m not sure I can watch Monday night's game without my heart and guts exploding. Before Saturday, I thought that if they can neutralize Thabeet and Price – and for the most part they did – the Spartans could set up an interesting rematch with a UNC team that blew them out in the same building a few months ago. But a few months ago is an eternity, and Sparty is a different team (better) while UNC is essentially the same (cocky). Could it be a green and white Monday night in Detroit?
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