THIS is a CLOSE-UP?

Last night, I was the co-M.C. for the Michigan Education Association's Outstanding Person In Education (OPIE) awards banquet. I decided to go for it and actually write up some jokes to deliver to the crowd, with some tweaks and improvisations thrown in on the fly. What follows is a sampling of the material I delivered, divided into "opening remarks" and "recipient biographies" (with my obvious embellishment) for your entertainment. Opening Remarks It's a pleasure to be here tonight at the Odawa Casino in Petoskey. Petoskey is a city that's so welcoming and inclusive, the adult store set up right across from the "Abortion Stops A Beating Heart" sign. Even though I teach courses in psychology and the humanities, at heart, I'm a firm believer in STEM. After all, only science could create a man with the body of Stephen Merchant, the voice of Jeff Goldblum, and the head of Mr. Clean. Everyone here tonight gets a free copy of the New York

Please take a moment to click on this link marking the retirement of Dr. Ken Jurkiewicz, Director of Film Studies at Central Michigan University: http://www.cm-life.com/article/2018/04/jurkiewicz-q-a Over forty years at CMU for Dr. Ken teaching film is quite an accomplishment, and one that's most likely not to be repeated any time soon. (Both the "40+ years" and the "teaching film" parts.) I had Dr. Ken for a sci-fi film class in my Masters of Humanities program in 2004, and while I dug it -- he was knowledgeable and enthusiastic, even if his presentation focal point was literally about twelve inches above all our heads -- I could tell pretty quickly that the rest of my student cohort wasn't as engaged. Sadly, that's pretty typical for film classes in a STEM and streaming world, especially in my neck of the woods (or my nape of the way, for you film buffs). I got my Masters in Humanities degree largely so I could teach film classes at NCMC, but ove