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Donde Se Retro?

Oh, when will the Americans learn? It's not enough to make Pepsi Throwback and replace the high fructose corn syrup with sugar. No, there needs to be a full-on return to the old Pepsi taste, and that's where Mexico has it covered.

Did you know that in a blindfolded taste test, Pepsi actually beats Coke a majority of the time? Did you know that sugar contributes less to hyperobesity in lab rats than high fructose corn syrup? Did you know that Pepsi, when applied to the anal region, can cure colorectal cancer? (It's on page 787 of the Obama health care plan.)

The answer is clear: demand Pepsi-Cola Retro from your local apothecary. If all else fails, go south of the border and bring back some cans any which way you can. (But if that's your plan, bring plenty of K-Y. Otherwise...ouch.)

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