First, a moment of clear insight: I'm not a golfer. I golf, but I'm not a golfer.
A golfer is a skilled sportsman who sizes up a situation, intuits the best outcome, and executes the best performance towards that outcome. At times, I can do one or two of those things, but rarely consistently. I'm consistently inconsistent. And with a titanium hip and no designs on getting my varsity letter in golf, I have to be okay with that.
When I'm golfing by myself, it's generally about an elusive moment of competence, be it a swing with a club that I haven't quite mastered or a putt on an undulating landscape of chemical green. When I'm golfing with others, it's about the hang more than the thang, as it was when I played basketball and ran track. But no matter what situation, it's still enjoyable every time on some level, and it's about the only physical thing I can do anymore without my body sliding into critical condition.
This year, I golfed at a wide variety of different courses, more so than any other time in my golf "career." Here are some of the places where I lost balls and shouted obscenities:
Ye Olde (Roscommon, MI) -- This is the home of my low round this year (46 for 9 holes!), and the home course back in my younger, more Roscommon days. My grandfather golfed here, famously driving a cart into the drink one fateful day if legend serves. My father golfed here, at various times in his life, from middle school to a few weeks ago. And now I'm carrying on the tradition, three generations strong, of male Haights letting it fly. It's the golf course I would always drive by to and from school, to and from my next and greatest adventures, and as such has the most iconic place in my memories, golfing or otherwise.
Gaylord Country Club (Gaylord, MI) -- This is a new favorite, just over ten minutes away from my house. Eighteen picturesque holes, not too difficult, but not a pushover. I spent the August eclipse hitting two bags of balls at the driving range, and my body paid for it for weeks afterward. A few years back, I played the back nine with my father Glenn and my friend Shawn in a dead race, successfully outrunning an oncoming severe thunderstorm.
The Natural at Beaver Creek Resort (Gaylord, MI) -- This is the course I can actually see from my house, eighteen holes that kick my ass on the regular. Deer and geese on the fairways, and so many twists and turns to take me out of bounds in a hurry. Notable this year for the second annual Haight-Church Golf Challenge (between me, Glenn, and the brothers Church, otherwise known as Scott and Graham.) Oh, and that one round I spent bouncing from the bathrooms to the greens. New medication ain't no joke, y'all.
Springbrook Golf Club (Walloon Lake, MI) -- This is the NCMC Tuesday summer afternoon gathering spot, or at least it used to be, until people moved away or lost interest or had babies or passed away. At one point, we had 13 colleagues from NCMC playing together; now, we're down to anywhere from three to six, depending on the day. The front nine is easier, and thus more desirable to play on the regular. Certainly the course I've played the most over the past fifteen years, for what that's worth.
Grayling Country Club (Grayling, MI) -- This is an eighteen-hole adventure nestled right in the middle of Grayling, a city we always wanted to visit when I was a kid in Roscommon because Grayling had a McDonalds and an awesome Holiday Inn. Only one of those is true now. I started off the 2017 golf year on the back nine, with a 50 for my first round of the season. Not bad for my limited skill set.
Fox Run (Grayling, MI) -- This is just a few miles away from the truck stop on I-75 where drugs come from downstate to be distributed "up north." The cart died five holes into my only round there, so Glenn and I finished up the nine by walking the rest of the holes. But on the plus side, when we got back to the club house and told our sad tale, we got passes for 18 holes free for next year. So there's that, which is nice when you're as cheap as I am.
Red Oaks Golf Course (Madison Heights, MI) -- This was the surprise of the year, a nine-hole par 3/par 4 golf course right on John R in the suburbs of Detroit. It's even set up to play foot golf, a hybrid of soccer and golf aimed for the kids, which I would totally do were I not partially metallic. And the weather has always been a wild card; my first time playing was 85 degrees at 10am, and my second go-'round was 60 degrees and rain at 9am. Can't blame my crap play on the conditions, tho'.
Hessel Ridge Golf (Hessel, MI) -- This was my only venture north of the Bridge this year, a classic middle-of-nowhere Upper Peninsula golf course that was pretty awesome, if you could stand the bugs and bugs. Did I mention the bugs? But the beauty of the course and the grounds, as well as the Korean lady running the club house with an iron fist, really stood out.
The Ridge (Gaylord, MI) -- This was a good experience that could have been better, as the course had all the bones of a better course that just couldn't quite turn the corner to great. Much like how my game can't quite pivot from crap to less crap, actually. Notable for a club house staffed by people most likely working their first jobs ever.
Black Forest Golf Club at Wilderness Valley (Gaylord, MI) -- This was another "man, I bet this course was better back in the day" experience. But I suppose any golf course named after Germanic desserts is destined to be a mixed bag.
Bay View Country Club (Petoskey, MI) -- This was the second year in a row playing with a NCMC team, with proceeds benefiting the Petoskey High School. A bit tight, given the I-can't-believe-you're-this-serious crowd, although we found some more relaxed folks as we got into the outing. If you could transplant the clientele and attitude from Caddyshack into real life, well, then you've got the picture.
Little Traverse Bay Golf Club (Harbor Springs, MI) -- This was yet another proper golf outing, with the NCMC Foundation being the beneficiaries of our financial largess. A nice and hot and sunburning kind of day, but without the two eagles we had here a few years back. No American flag on the flagpole this year, however, which I guess is how it goes in Trump's Amerikkka these days.
Boyne Highlands The Heather (Harbor Springs, MI) -- This was still another golf outing, but the first time our NCMC team sprung for this benefit for Harbor Springs public schools (as if they're in the poor house in the first place). Notable for brightly colored Volvik balls that almost automatically found their way into the water or the woods.
In all, a nice and diverse year for golf. There's still hope to get a round or three in before the weather turns for good, but if this is it, I should be happy for it. But when there's always the promise of another birdie out there -- or at least another three-putt -- then it's hard to put the clubs away for good. Guess we'll have to wait and see.
A golfer is a skilled sportsman who sizes up a situation, intuits the best outcome, and executes the best performance towards that outcome. At times, I can do one or two of those things, but rarely consistently. I'm consistently inconsistent. And with a titanium hip and no designs on getting my varsity letter in golf, I have to be okay with that.
When I'm golfing by myself, it's generally about an elusive moment of competence, be it a swing with a club that I haven't quite mastered or a putt on an undulating landscape of chemical green. When I'm golfing with others, it's about the hang more than the thang, as it was when I played basketball and ran track. But no matter what situation, it's still enjoyable every time on some level, and it's about the only physical thing I can do anymore without my body sliding into critical condition.
This year, I golfed at a wide variety of different courses, more so than any other time in my golf "career." Here are some of the places where I lost balls and shouted obscenities:
Ye Olde (Roscommon, MI) -- This is the home of my low round this year (46 for 9 holes!), and the home course back in my younger, more Roscommon days. My grandfather golfed here, famously driving a cart into the drink one fateful day if legend serves. My father golfed here, at various times in his life, from middle school to a few weeks ago. And now I'm carrying on the tradition, three generations strong, of male Haights letting it fly. It's the golf course I would always drive by to and from school, to and from my next and greatest adventures, and as such has the most iconic place in my memories, golfing or otherwise.
Gaylord Country Club (Gaylord, MI) -- This is a new favorite, just over ten minutes away from my house. Eighteen picturesque holes, not too difficult, but not a pushover. I spent the August eclipse hitting two bags of balls at the driving range, and my body paid for it for weeks afterward. A few years back, I played the back nine with my father Glenn and my friend Shawn in a dead race, successfully outrunning an oncoming severe thunderstorm.
The Natural at Beaver Creek Resort (Gaylord, MI) -- This is the course I can actually see from my house, eighteen holes that kick my ass on the regular. Deer and geese on the fairways, and so many twists and turns to take me out of bounds in a hurry. Notable this year for the second annual Haight-Church Golf Challenge (between me, Glenn, and the brothers Church, otherwise known as Scott and Graham.) Oh, and that one round I spent bouncing from the bathrooms to the greens. New medication ain't no joke, y'all.
Springbrook Golf Club (Walloon Lake, MI) -- This is the NCMC Tuesday summer afternoon gathering spot, or at least it used to be, until people moved away or lost interest or had babies or passed away. At one point, we had 13 colleagues from NCMC playing together; now, we're down to anywhere from three to six, depending on the day. The front nine is easier, and thus more desirable to play on the regular. Certainly the course I've played the most over the past fifteen years, for what that's worth.
Grayling Country Club (Grayling, MI) -- This is an eighteen-hole adventure nestled right in the middle of Grayling, a city we always wanted to visit when I was a kid in Roscommon because Grayling had a McDonalds and an awesome Holiday Inn. Only one of those is true now. I started off the 2017 golf year on the back nine, with a 50 for my first round of the season. Not bad for my limited skill set.
Fox Run (Grayling, MI) -- This is just a few miles away from the truck stop on I-75 where drugs come from downstate to be distributed "up north." The cart died five holes into my only round there, so Glenn and I finished up the nine by walking the rest of the holes. But on the plus side, when we got back to the club house and told our sad tale, we got passes for 18 holes free for next year. So there's that, which is nice when you're as cheap as I am.
Red Oaks Golf Course (Madison Heights, MI) -- This was the surprise of the year, a nine-hole par 3/par 4 golf course right on John R in the suburbs of Detroit. It's even set up to play foot golf, a hybrid of soccer and golf aimed for the kids, which I would totally do were I not partially metallic. And the weather has always been a wild card; my first time playing was 85 degrees at 10am, and my second go-'round was 60 degrees and rain at 9am. Can't blame my crap play on the conditions, tho'.
Hessel Ridge Golf (Hessel, MI) -- This was my only venture north of the Bridge this year, a classic middle-of-nowhere Upper Peninsula golf course that was pretty awesome, if you could stand the bugs and bugs. Did I mention the bugs? But the beauty of the course and the grounds, as well as the Korean lady running the club house with an iron fist, really stood out.
The Ridge (Gaylord, MI) -- This was a good experience that could have been better, as the course had all the bones of a better course that just couldn't quite turn the corner to great. Much like how my game can't quite pivot from crap to less crap, actually. Notable for a club house staffed by people most likely working their first jobs ever.
Black Forest Golf Club at Wilderness Valley (Gaylord, MI) -- This was another "man, I bet this course was better back in the day" experience. But I suppose any golf course named after Germanic desserts is destined to be a mixed bag.
Bay View Country Club (Petoskey, MI) -- This was the second year in a row playing with a NCMC team, with proceeds benefiting the Petoskey High School. A bit tight, given the I-can't-believe-you're-this-serious crowd, although we found some more relaxed folks as we got into the outing. If you could transplant the clientele and attitude from Caddyshack into real life, well, then you've got the picture.
Little Traverse Bay Golf Club (Harbor Springs, MI) -- This was yet another proper golf outing, with the NCMC Foundation being the beneficiaries of our financial largess. A nice and hot and sunburning kind of day, but without the two eagles we had here a few years back. No American flag on the flagpole this year, however, which I guess is how it goes in Trump's Amerikkka these days.
Boyne Highlands The Heather (Harbor Springs, MI) -- This was still another golf outing, but the first time our NCMC team sprung for this benefit for Harbor Springs public schools (as if they're in the poor house in the first place). Notable for brightly colored Volvik balls that almost automatically found their way into the water or the woods.
In all, a nice and diverse year for golf. There's still hope to get a round or three in before the weather turns for good, but if this is it, I should be happy for it. But when there's always the promise of another birdie out there -- or at least another three-putt -- then it's hard to put the clubs away for good. Guess we'll have to wait and see.
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